Shared Topic: Relationships within Azeroth
In reading other posts on this topic I started to wonder what I really thought and felt about this topic. Looking over BossyPally and RaidLeader there are points I agree with and want to expand on and I want to throw in my own thinking on this.
**Warning** I’m going to use some of my degree to explain to you what I see in WoW relationships so if you don’t want to learn a little about seeing connections or don’t want to be bogged down in a little bit of an educational post then don’t keep reading. (My analogy is a little bit convoluted, but I thought it was pretty easy to read.)
A few things from other bloggers
I’m completely with RaidLeader that when I ignore you I get immense satisfaction from essentially ‘having the last word’ as he put it. In fact it makes me so happy that because I know that you do not know I ignored you I might just send you a pst telling you I did just because you can’t respond. Yes this is petty, but I must revert to the age old adage…”you started it.”
In regards to BossyPally, props to my fellow anthropologist, however amateur you say you may be. You are completely right that in friendships it is hard to label what an online relationship is. I know how difficult this can be because I wrote my senior research paper on the meaning of friendships in today’s society. Interesting stuff, but I digress. What it all boils down to is soap bubbles. Yep that’s right, soap bubbles. If you think of yourself as a bubble in time and space you will see that you were created from your soap (i.e. background, religion, education, culture, etc). Your colors are different, you may be thick and soapy, or thin and wobbly, or whatever. As a soap bubble you come in contact with another bubble. You brush, maybe stick together to make bubble clouds, maybe others come along going in the same direction and they stick too, then some three year old comes along with gusty lungs and some bubbles pop, others float away to join new bubbles, and some go about alone for a while. What does all this non-sense mean? That what you are and what you are to become is shaped by others and what you are made of. So when you brush up against others, or mix and join you inevitably get some of their original composition as well as a little bit of what they gathered from other bubbles and so on.
So what did we learn from all this? That you should remember that everyone you come in contact with in-game is going to take a piece of your bubble with them and vice-versa.
How this relates to the idiots – At least this only applies to the ones we come face to in-game face with (not the crazy spammers or dirty talkers in the chats). If by being rude to them makes you feel good, that’s ok, but remember that you have just had an affect on how that person will now interact with the next person. They then need to keep in mind that not everyone is going to be nice or mean while responding. I will take the random group invites in stride, and even some of your more annoying “why?” questions, but when I reply politely or even half politely with an excuse, keep in mind my soap bubble just turned an awful puce green color with a tinge of brown and you have added your odiferous obnoxiousness to my aura and that will now affect everyone I come in contact with too…Good Job.
We as good game players need to not become too jaded to the rest of the players even if it means you have to lie to yourself. I like to pretend that everyone I meet (in regards to the obnoxious idiots) is either a four year old genius who has yet to understand social dynamics, or an awesome game playing cat who can ninja and annoy with the rest of them then leave you cold with an ignore. I also need to take my own advice, I’m bordering on the hypocritical. I have to tell you that sometimes one wrong encounter after another after another can really add up to a pissed off pally/preist/druid/hunter who sicks what ever kinda of mad wickedness she can your way.
How this relates to people we like – With people you like it is much easier to become bubble units and then you all look like pretty little rainbows. No really, in my own experience I’ve met people who I thought I would never enjoy being around. I had to attune myself to how they were, understand them and then integrate them into my little circle of friends. I heard of an awesome band from the funniest asshole in one of my guilds. I hung with a Martha Stewart Mommie who was meek and gentle in vent and was the mom of the guild but when raid time came, doing dailies, or group fun quests like the holiday events she turned into the best drill sergeant I’ve seen aside from my old man, who at one time really was a drill sergeant. She ordered the troops, helped with tactics, made sure everyone had everything they needed, then did some bullying to get them into position. It was one of the most entertaining dual personality switches I’ve ever seen.
I’ve contributed too though. I’ve helped some of the newer players understand that healing isn’t on-demand, and if a wipe happens the best course of action is to not say *stupid healz*. Let me tell you, if I heard that, my instinctual instant apology for not being able to do more just died on my lips and you will probably never receive a heal from me unless I can hold it out to make you butt pucker. I’ve assisted a hunter or two on the mechanics of really using your pet. And back when I tried my hand at tanking I let the group go on without when they didn’t learn the all important lesson of “let the tank go first.” Then after I let my vengeance get the better of me I will remember my own advice and go on performing to the best of my abilities while helping you perform to the best of yours.
Remember, how you interact with them and how they interact with you has an affect on you both.